He’s far too tall for me to continue to call him my “baby boy” or “heart on legs”. But I still do. He gathers my 5’10 frame in a bear hug, my ear level with his heart.
My first born is 21 … today!
The party last weekend went off without any damage to property or loss of neighbourly respect. His old (but cool) parents were greeted and hugged by such an eclectic mix of about 40 young people through the front door. We’d already made the rules clear in the group chat - pot IS permitted - and joked they should share. They didn’t. Share, that is..
My husband gave the impromptu casual speech, standing in front of the kitchen island bench and towering cake. Our son’s response was to simply express love - and gratitude for our guidance and all we have provided. But most importantly, for always being his safe space. I couldn’t trust myself to open my mouth for fear of dislodging the lump in my throat. Pure love spilled from my eyes and I simply hugged our baby boy to claps and cheers, and “awwws” from the 40 odd variously intoxicated youths. Several of which lined up for their dose of motherly hugs once the cake was cut.
I have no idea where the birthday boy gets his resilience and happy go lucky nature. Certainly not from me! He’s slow to anger, quick to forgive. Takes all of life in his stride, and welcomes those that want to come along for the ride. The least judgmental person I’ve ever met - or is his generation ALL like that? I was raised by parents who only believe in two ways to do something, their way or the wrong way, so I often struggle to keep my ingrained quick trigger responses inside my own head. He calmly offers an alternative viewpoint, and shows his old Ma just who has the highest emotional intelligence in the house.
He’s always been social, and smart enough to not have to try too hard. I’ve often told him that he can’t expect to get through life on looks and personality! I seriously think he’s taken that as a challenge.
We spent dinner last night reminiscing about his childhood, and the reality of just how quickly time passes made me misty, more than once.
As my boys have gotten older, I’ve been very open in admitting that I am trying to break generational habits and be a constant source of (non-judgmental) support in their lives. Learning how to flex and fill whatever gap they need, without being overbearing. Ask for my advice or help, but make your own decisions and path in life. I’ll always be right behind you..
My wish for them is to simply be happy! To quote my previous post “Dig ditches for all I care, but be enthusiastic about it. Just. Be. Happy. Change life direction as many times as you like. Just. DO. Something. Don’t be a leech on society (or your parents, hint hint) and work for something YOU can be proud of. Not me. YOU. I am proud already. Success should never be measured by a certificate or position or accolade. Success my dear boy, is in how you feel about yourself.”
And that, my friends, is how you allow your heart to wander around, outside your own body.
Terrifying - isn’t it ?
x